It’s been a crazy kind of weekend. I went to the mall five times (yes five) between Thursday and Sunday. Not just one mall, but two: Exton Square Mall and King of Prussia Mall(you know, the second largest mall in the U.S. A.) I don’t usually go that often, I swear. In fact, the mall on the weekend is pretty terrible as it becomes infested with pre-teens being snotty on cell phones, tourists (tourists!) with maps in front of their noses, and people who just think they are the height of cool and therefore must walk really slowly. My brother Greg and I found it difficult to navigate when people were popping up like mushrooms from manure.
Why did I keep going back to a place that was clearly making me irritable? I needed a dress. Mike and I are going to a wedding next month and I have no dress for it, so I’ve been combing the stores and boy, oh boy do I HATE trying dresses on! Some of them are so heavy or they are scratchy or the sizing is wonky. Then I have to carry all of those heavy dresses into a tiny little changing room that is hardly big enough to be a bathroom stall. How am I supposed to try on long dresses in a space I couldn’t pee in? All the same, I got into my tiny cubicle. I always hang the dresses on one hook, then put the rejects on a second hook and the winners on a third. There were only two hooks in this box. Crap. Oh, and the sides of the stall don’t touch the ground, so I would have to put my jeans on the ground with my wallet in it and hope it would be there after looking in the mirror. However, I was feeling crafty so I hung my jeans by the belt loops on a hook. One hook for my jeans, one hook for my dresses. I will make this work.
I got stuck in the first dress. This trip was really turning out to be a mistake. After much shimmying and grunting I escaped. It was then that I realized that these booths aren’t made for tall people. At 5 feet and 10 inches I could see clear over the door, meaning people could see my arms over my head with a dress stuck like an absurd pink beehive. Lovely. I have the same problem in the restroom at school, where I crouch down so that it doesn’t look like I’m trying to spy on people. In the end I did find a dress and it only took 5 trips to the mall and trying on 30 dresses!
Please know that it took me maybe 45 minutes in a bridal shop to try on five dresses and pick the one: the dress I would be a bride in. It took me almost a week to find a dress to be a wedding guest. I will be very content to stay away from the mall for a few weeks or months.
P.S. These mall trips were saved primarily by the availability of fruit smoothies, which undoubtedly kept me sane.